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Custody Problems


child custody problems in Minnesota?

My ex says he is going to seek full custody of my child. What are the chances of him winning. I love my child and I provide well for him. He says he is going to have all his friends testify against me in court ( which in my opinion is a conflict of interested or well atleast there opinions would be biased) I don’t know what to do I just know this is tearing me up inside. I can’t live without my son.

First off, I apologize for this being so long. I don’t know enough of your story, but I can share a little of mine to try to put your mind at ease. My ex threatened repeatedly to go for full custody if I didn’t agree to his terms.

He and I had participated in an alternative lifestyle for about a year. He made sure to bring that up when he threatened me. After several years of his threats (some made while we were still together), I told him to go ahead and follow through. He never did.

He said I was unfit to be a mother b/c I was taking antidepressants, b/c I had participated in an alternative lifestyle (so had he), b/c my nephew had molested our kids when they were toddlers, you name it, he tried using it against me.

I learned to turn a deaf ear to him when he threatened. Yes I lived in fear for at least three years. And yes at one point he did kidnap the kids for about 10 days – one of the most hellish periods in my life.

Eventually we did get a divorce, and after all his threats, he DID NOT bring up the past. I completely understand the feelings of “can’t live without my kids”. Been there, lived through it, came out ok on the other end.

All I can say is hang in there as best you can, and let him know very calmly that you won’t listen to anymore of his threats. Then hang up – on him, on his friends or relatives who threaten you. Buy a recorder for your phone – it’s less than $40. Get him on tape threatening you just in case you need it.

Document everytime he calls and threatens you. You may never use it, but even if you don’t, you can look back over time and see how you survived a time when you *knew* you couldn’t. I am speaking from experience – my document is over 150 pages long and still growing.

Hang in there, and email me if you want to talk. But most of all, don’t give in to the b@stard.

EDIT:
He didn’t ever use the past against me, and I have (joint) custody of the kids. He still threatens me, and I’ve learned to not let it bother me anymore.

Complex Child Custody Issues and Move Away Cases


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