Pancakes or Waffles? Marriage Communication help
Pancakes or Waffles? By Mike & Trisha Fox, Authors and Founders of Marraige For Today: Published book and resource for married couples in love and relationship. When we’ve written for our website, Marriage For Today, or on our Radio Show on Blogtalk Radio, The other day, I was looking in our freezer for the box of Pancakes. I usually eat Pancakes with our daughter, as part of our “daddy-daughter” breakfast. Pancakes, with lots of syrup. Thick, rich, maple syrup. Okay, so now your mouth is watering. But it being morning time, my brain and eyes were at, say, 45% capacity. So when I opened the freezer door, and saw the box, it had a picture of Waffles on it. I love Waffles too, by the way. But the pancakes are smooth, soft and easy to cut into pieces for our 2 ½ year old daughter. So when I saw the box showing Waffles, it appeared that we were all out of Pancakes. To which I resort to cereal and toast, and possibly a bagel and cream cheese. A few days later, my wife had told me that we did in fact have an unopened box of Pancakes. But, the box was flipped to the back, which for some reason displayed those tasty Waffles. So, in essence, that box was really Pancakes, not Waffles. Either way, if there’s enough syrup on either, I’m good! A few things can be derived from this, however. 1. The box seemed, or appeared to be a box of Pancakes; but, if I would have taken the time and energy, which would probably only amount to like 5-10%, I would have quickly discovered a box of Pancakes; new and unopened, ready for our discovery! 2. There really is a difference between Pancakes and Waffles. So, number one; the flip-side of the box made it appear to be something other than what I wanted; I did not take the time to find out if it was really a box of Waffles or not. I just took my few seconds and no energy, and just interpreted that to be what I thought it was. Which, turns out, was not what it was! I absolutely cannot stress enough the importance of proper and effectively “listening” to your partner. How many times has one partner said something in a tense moment, and it be misinterpreted to mean an entirely different meaning? It is this listening interaction that has caused innumerable amount of unnecessary hurts and distance in marriage relationships. When in conflicts, or pre-conflict discussions, it is absolutely imperative, that you “hear”, not just “listen” to what your partner is actually saying. If you only use the same 5%, and little energy to surmise and come to a complete conclusion that your partner is saying something to purposefully hurt you, you have missed the content; and you think it’s a box of rough Waffles, when in reality, it’s a fresh, new, unopened box of smooth, delicious pancakes. Realize, that love without proper and effective communication is a recipe for failure for the future. Take time to listen, and then repeat back what you thought you heard your partner say. You will be surprised at the amount of times you actually did not quite catch what was said. Really, it’s not Waffles, it’s Pancakes! Secondly; Pancakes are smooth, Waffles are rough. Obviously, this is an attempt to point out that men and women are very much different. But when you pour the syrup of closeness in the marriage relationship, both tastes are a delight! Understand that there are God-given differences, and both husband and wife will hear and interpret things differently. The whole goal is to hear what THEY are saying, not what YOU are hearing. When we can somehow, with practice, learn to master the fine art of listening, we will drastically decrease our arguments and misunderstandings by around 50-75%. So, go make some fresh breakfast, whether with Waffles or Pancakes! Email requests, booking or comments or questions, please contact Pastors Mike & Trisha Fox MARRIAGE FOR TODAY www.marriagefortoday.com or to learn about our Radio Show go to: www.marriagefortoday.com/blogtalk.html or to simply order our book to to: www.marriagefortoday.com/orderbook.html Email us at: info@marriagefortoday.com For booking events or information, contact MARRIAGE FOR TODAY 302-399-7851 Tel 302-659-2199 Fax Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Mike_D_Fox
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